restless

I’m laying in the meadow next to my church. The last time I did this was a few years ago – I was heartbroken, confused, and tired of unrequited love. I knew I was restless, but couldn’t find a way to rid myself of MY wants, MY desires, MY way of doing things. God kept pursuing me, and shortly after that day I had more peace than I ever thought possible – but it had taken years of pruning to get me to that place of contentment.

Today, with a scene strangely familiar to me – the sun peaking through the trees, the breeze dancing with my hair, and the faint sound of cars driving by beyond the blackberry bushes – I realize that while I’m not heartbroken now, I’ve become restless again.

My heart is longing for new things; people, places, spiritual invigoration.

I’ve been looking at flights to just about everywhere the past few days – Montreal & South Africa are at the top of the list right now. I leave for Calgary & Saskatoon in just less than a month and I am READY to get on a plane. To see old friends & make new ones. To witness people saying yes to forever with each other. To indulge in great coffee with great company.

I know going away won’t satisfy this restless heart. Relying on any one person, place, or thing will never fill the void.

I’m not unhappy, or even discontent – I just finding myself seeking more and more lately.

Seeking Him.

Probably a good thing to be doing when I’m feeling restless.