birthday bon voyage

Four weeks & a day ago I was getting the last things packed before my move to Calgary. To be honest, my heart was hurting. After the best birthday party a girl could dream of the night before, with almost all the people I love in one place with golden light covering everything & everyone, I was seriously doubting my decision.

Why was I leaving Langley? Why was I leaving all those people who had come to hug me & tell me how much they loved me? Why, God, was I choosing to leave such deep community?

As I sat on my back deck last night reflecting on the previous month, that same golden light warming my side as the breeze lifted my hair, I knew I’d been learning why. I knew I’d also been learning what to keep & ponder in my heart and what to vocalize & share with others.

The past few weeks have been healing for many aspects of my life. Deep wounds have been brought up & my Heavenly Father has put balm on them, showing the truly kind & gentle nature of Himself in ways that shouldn’t surprise me but are filling me with unexpected hope. The Holy Spirit has shown up in both familiar & not-so-familiar ways, pushing me to reach out to people wiser than myself for understanding of what I’m sorting through in this spiritual exploration. New friendships are blossoming here in Calgary while ones back home still feel deeply rooted in my heart, something I had dreamed of & am taking pure delight in.

It’s a process, this moving thing. Life, really. Four weeks have flown by. Taking time to reflect (and then doing something about that reflection!) is integral to my life. On my birthday I wrote out my tradition of 3-2-1 but never posted it – I want to keep it here instead of just my notebook to remember what life was like on that day, what I thought of it, what I found important to keep record of. Already I’m finding I’ve learned an abundance of new things, have had major prayer shifts, and feel like time is moving in an absurdly fast manner. Our souls aren’t made for calendars & I’m feelin’ it, y’all.

So here it is: 3-2-1, 25th birthday edition.

3 things I’ve learned since my last birthday:

• I like getting up early. Not the waking up bit, but the being up.
• Public speaking is my jam. When I get to tell stories of God’s goodness, both in my life specifically & as a reminder of who He is, my heart is on fire. My stomach is nervous but my whole being can’t wait to share the words.
• Living with wide margins makes me happy. I don’t like the exhaustion that comes with “hustle” – being successful doesn’t have to mean notoriety & a jam-packed schedule. My definition of success involves wide margins in my calendar.

2 things I want to do before my next birthday:

• Read every day. I want to enrich my brain, expand my vocabulary, & be more aware of life outside myself.
• Go horseback riding in the prairies. Alberta + trail riding = happy, happy girl.

1 piece of advice:

Believe everyone is doing the best they can. It won’t change who they are or how they act, but it will change your heart toward them. Imagine all the opportunities for compassion, patience, & mercy that would bring, hey?

Photos from my birthday/bon voyage bash courtesy of Megan Benger Photography. I threw them into a personal gallery for friends to download here, but they’re all from her! A million thank yous to Megan for making sure I got to see the liveliness of that night & relive the joy that evening brought me. I am so loved. So, so loved.

And a huge thank you to Marcus & Hannah for letting me have this party at their house. And to everyone who brought food, gifts, hugs, & general frivolity to the evening – thank you. I love you all so, so much.

Give me a holla // Join me on the instagram