fearless

This isn’t about skydiving.

Or climbing the highest mountains.

Or even wrestling bear cubs.

Although I must tell you about my dream of having a ring bear – but another time.

Being fearless doesn’t mean loudly charging through life, swiftly slicing down fears with a sword as you rush by to the edge of a cliff to proclaim your lack of trepidation over the ocean.

Being fearless is a lot… quieter.

Being fearless is born out of stillness, that quiet place where I let myself feel all the things, where I acknowledge that I’m completely uncertain or perhaps completely certain, where I’m so wildly uncomfortable either way that my stomach feels like it’s been left behind on a roller coaster I didn’t exactly want to get on.

Truth lives there.

It doesn’t mean that all the answers live there, too. I’ve learned that certainty is a luxury that even if I could afford it, I don’t think I would bother.

For a long time I would pray for clarity, to be able to see God’s will with such ease that it would be obvious what I should do, which course of action to take.

But where’s the trust in that?

It’s in that quiet place that I can say,“Ohhh Lord, my heart is not sitting pretty with all this uncertainty. Nothing in this world is certain, but You are.”

It’s in that quiet place that I can lean into God and pour out my fears, choosing to trust Him. Not because I’m told to, or because I have to, but because I want to. His love has never failed and it never will.

Being fearless doesn’t mean not being afraid. Being fearless means acknowledging the fear and walking through it anyway.

It means calling someone to share what’s on my heart.

It means calling them again as soon as I hang up because I didn’t get it out the first time.

It means letting myself be seen.

It means loving wholeheartedly even if my heart has been broken before.

It means choosing – in every moment – to trust that God’s got my back.

And that trust? That trust creates something beautiful.

That trust fosters joy, a deep well of hope and peace that I can draw from in times of heartbreaking sadness, boisterous happiness, unruly impatience, and satisfying contentment to always, always, always say, “It is well. I may not know what’s coming next, but in this moment of trust, of being fearless – it is well.”

And you know what I’ve learned?

Life’s golden moments happen when you allow yourself to be fearless.

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