Getting engaged to the right person is one of the best feelings in the world.

 

Happiness, deeply rooted joy, excitement – all of these things are usually felt in those first moments after a proposal.

Those feelings can last longer, but sometimes the stress of wedding planning squashes them. You’re looking forward to marriage, but the whole process of planning a wedding? Not so much.

Brandon & I planned our wedding before we were engaged. It ain’t for everybody, but he’d already put money on a ring and we’d talked to our priest about the church’s availability for the date we wanted, so it felt pretty real. Brandon had a work trip right after he put money on a ring, so during the 10 days he was away I gathered all the information together into spreadsheets to go over with him once he was back. I researched food, alcohol, rentals, sound systems, decor, paperwork needed, etc etc all to find out what this thing would end up costing us.

The reason I was able to do all of that in 10 days, and then the reason we were able to execute all those things within a couple weeks of being engaged, was because we’d had a conversation before any of it was looked into or booked. We were able to make decisions with peace, even when things went wrong, because we did these 3 things.

 

1. Set expectations

We both shared what we were thinking when it came to our wedding day. I talked about my dream to have an outdoor reception with lots of twinkle lights, he shared his desire for it to be a small event where we could actually talk to everybody. I wanted community involvement (our food was made by friends!) and he wanted an open bar. Our ceremony was the most important, so we talked in length about what that meant to each of us.

Walk through your wedding together and talk about what you’ve been dreaming about for every part of the day, from the getting ready to the departure from the party.

After we had done this, as well as the next two steps, we set expectations with our families. At the end of the day, we were the ones getting married (and planning to pay for it all ourselves!) so we told them what we were dreaming up and let them share what they wanted, too, even if we didn’t end up doing some of those things – we just let them know we weren’t doing them so they could expect the right thing on the day of!

 

2. Decide on a guiding theme

This is the word/words or phrase that will guide ALL your decisions when choosing any & all the things to do with your wedding! Ours?

Simple.

In other words, uncomplicated. Beautiful without being too frou frou, as that wouldn’t have reflected either of us it there had been a lot of glitz and glam. Golden, of course, but unforced – like that golden light at sunset. It just happens. I’ve always believed your wedding can set the tone for the kind of marriage you want to have, which is why we loved our guiding theme of simple.

We wanted a beautiful ceremony fit for the occasion of the Sacrament of Marriage and a simple, relaxed, backyard vibe for the after party. I didn’t even call it a reception – it was literally “the after party” on our invitations.

Simple helped guide us when we made decisions because we didn’t go back on a decision unless forced to. When things weren’t simple with our first venue, we chose one that was (with 3 months before our wedding). When our caterer wasn’t returning any of my emails of phone calls one week out, we opted for PIZZA and that was the best, most simple decision we made. Bless a good guiding theme!

 

3. List your priorities

In light of your expectations and guiding theme, list your priorities. Ours were:

• Beautiful mass
• Relaxed after party (with dancing)
• Community dinner
• Open bar
• Remembering the whole thing!

 

By listing these things out, our time & budget was able to be allocated appropriately. Your time & money are both part of the budget, y’all.

Having a beautiful mass meant wearing things that were honouring to the occasion, having heavenly music accompany the liturgy, really praying through our readings and readers, putting together our mass booklet (that I still get comments about!) to guide guests through the experience.

The relaxed after party guided the outdoor, no seating arrangement, let the children run free sort of reception we had. Dinner & dancing to us meant an evening reception, plus an open bar to let our guests (responsibly) enjoy the night. These were some of the bigger money items, but that meant we cut our guest list down to accommodate our budget and our dream of what we could give our guests.

Remembering the whole thing meant we invested into photography above everything else. What’s the good of having all the people you love together in one place to support you and celebrate the momentous occasion if you don’t have tangible reminders of what happened that day? That’s my opinion, anyway, and I wouldn’t be a wedding photographer if it wasn’t! Photography was one third of our wedding budget and we don’t regret it at all. Those photos, taken by someone I LOVE, are the best reminders of that simple, relaxed, community-filled wedding day.

 

No matter what, always invite God into every conversation around planning your wedding. The enemy despises marriage & family, which means during this season of engagement you might feel more under attack then normal. That’s okay. Your wedding is important, but your marriage? Even more so.

 

 

I still have 2019 wedding dates available! Contact me here to secure yours. I can’t wait to meet you.